fun in spain part 2.

current music: the la's - there she goes.

after the horror and shame of the aforementioned night the rest of the holiday was a reet good laugh.
boxing day was hilarious.
me and ob spent the day watching football in a bar whilst the old guys did their own thing.
we decided not to watch one match and went back to the apartment, when we did i had a missed call on my mobile from my dad but because i had no credit (apparently they charge you to receive stuff on your phone whilst abroad) i couldnt answer.
he and my gramp returned later and it was clear they were a little worse for wear. they went to the bar we were at to watch the football and so my gramp could place a bet on a horse (the bar took bets).
because there was another match on later in the evening me and obby went out early and got a mcdonald's and didnt eat out with the family. we watched the football in a bar and the family joined us there later. my aunt, uncle and 2 friends were flying over that day so my mum and nan were going to meet them and bring them to the bar once theyd checked into their hotel.
(sounds bloody confusing i know but bear with it!)
when my family arrived in the bar it was clear to see that my gramp was wasted. we all had a round of drinks and he kept claiming he was going to be sick; which had me and ob in stitches (twas the way he said it). to confirm his drunken state furthermore he started to tell us his paratrooper stories and his times in bahrain and such places. it was difficult to fathom what he was saying as he is welsh, has a stutter, was pissed and was slurring his words.
i was pissing myself, between stuff he'd randomly swear.
"i was up in bahrain with ........ urahariadladad... and we went in a b-b-b-b... i say a brothel, there was a guy in there..... hurrahreeteerereee.... fuck off"
or something along those lines. if youve seen the comedy programme, The Fast Show, he was very much like one of the characters in it. which was nice.
2 rounds of drinks later and my aunt, uncle and 2 friends had arrived. we were all having a laugh and chatting away. we decided to finish up our drinks and go to Coco's (a bar with karaoke) for a drink. my gramp had half a pint of guiness, a dribble of brandy and a glass of brandy and bailey's on the table that werent drunk. he just kept buying drinks and not finishing them.
we got to Coco's and all sat down and my gramp was so drunk by this point he was mumbling so bad you couldnt make out what he was saying, which made me and ob crack up even more.
whilst in Coco's he tried to persuade ob to join the navy, (" your quiet, placcid quiet like me, but i can see that your strong...") and claimed he was "hard as fucking nails" because he was a paratrooper. he started getting a little nasty towards the end of the night though...
he seemed to think the karaoke was a competition (we wouldnt let him sing as he wouldve probably fell off the stage) and started heckling the singers and the song choices...
karaoke host: " here's Steve with 'Sweet Caroline' "
my gramp: " oh no, not this.. *mumble mumble* "
tony, my gramp's mate who flew over with my aunt, uncle and his wife, got up to sing. when he finished his song and returned to his seat my gramp was gloating to the other singers.
" now that's how you sing at k-k-karaoke "
we did have to tell him to pipe down as he was getting a bit tempermental. the karaoke host informed us that the karaoke was over and the bar was closing, to which my gramp replied:
"well, we're going to the Laughter Bar so fuck you"
the rest of my family had to tell my gramp to shut up but i was in stitches, it was bloody hilarious.
it was time to go home now and i just knew we were going to have trouble walking him home.
my nan and dad had to stand either side of him to hold him up and stop him falling over, he moved at the pace of a hedgehog with no legs.
me and ob went on back to the apartment as to not make a fuss and cause a scene.
the rest of my family eventually made it back and my gramp went to the toilet and locked the door. somehow he managed to fall over in the bathroom and was led starfished on the bathroom floor. but because the door was locked we couldnt get in there to help him.
after much groans and whimpers about his bad back and a threat from my dad to bash down the door, he obliged, managed to get up off the floor unhinge the lock and open the door.
it was quite odd to see a grown man sprawled out on the bathroom floor off his face. even odder because it was my gramp. now he couldnt move from the floor so me and my dad had to carry him to his bed.
and that was that. i bet he had a bastard of a hangover in the morning!
he apologised in the morning for getting in such a state.
heh, it was soo funny.
part 3 probably the 4th and final part of my holiday fun tomozza!
chro.